Invention of Velcro = 7:35am – putting my shoes on! 7:50am – almost done, just threading the end through the loop again 8:05am – I’ll just finish tying in the car. Mom, why are you crying?
Lyft = What’s a bus? What do you mean public transportation? Like, with other people I don’t know? Why? Do you hate me?
Google Maps = which way is north?
Screentime = (I can’t hear you I can’t hear you I can’t hear you I can’t hear you I can’t hear you I can’t hear you I can’t hear you)……………….Why are you yelling at me?
Motorized Everything = my legs hurt this hike is too long my book is all the way upstairs I’m too tired because today we had PE you don’t care that my legs are going to literally fall off.
Texting = What do you mean I have to talk to them in person? What do I say?! How do I say it?! What am I supposed to do?! (Hyperventilating)
Video games = can I just finish this one game it will take two minutes please please please it’s just this one very final last thing I have to do to get to the next level and if I exit out now I won’t EVER EVER EVER get here again it will just take five minutes and I don’t think you understand how important this is because if you did you would just let me finish these last ten measly minutes and what do you mean I have trouble self-regulating and I don’t know how to accept the answer?
Instacart / Blue Apron / Caviar = where are we this place is weird why are you giving me this list what do you mean I pull things off the shelf won’t someone else do that for me why are you making me push this weird metal thing with wheels on it Mom why are you crying?